“The thief that’s stealing your joy and 5 steps to overcome it. How the practice of gratitude quiets the loud thoughts of comparison.”

Do you wrestle with comparison? Did it sidle up to you somewhere along the way and now it determines everything you do? In this blog I’m sharing 5 steps to overcome comparison and live a more content and fulfilling life.

I remember once sitting in an audience listening to a body image advocate who quoted Theodore Roosevelt’s famous words, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ and boy did that statement hit home. 

It’s an insight that is overwhelmingly true as feelings of comparison affect humanity as a whole. 

What is comparison? It manifests itself in different ways but can always be associated with negative emotions that make you feel unsatisfied in some way. 

Comparison can make you feel alone, jealous or envious. It crushes your self-esteem and can ruin your ability to have healthy friendships and relationships.

Growing up I had never really allowed comparison to have much of an effect on me. That is until 20 years ago when I left my home country of Kenya and I moved to Australia.

I came on my own, excited to start a new life as a university student but nothing could have prepared me for how different I felt upon arriving. Most of the places I went I looked and sounded different. As a minority, I wanted nothing more than to blend in. 

I learnt to cope with some feelings of comparison by finding refuge in my fellow Kenyans who were based in Australia. We would meet regularly which made me feel like I was part of a community; a safe haven of people who were experiencing some of the same issues I was experiencing. But even with these meet-ups, I was on my own most of the time, navigating a new country and a way of life that was unfamiliar. 

Through this time my faith carried me and reminded me that I was worthy, enough and that no matter what, I had purpose. I also learnt to get comfortable being uncomfortable and truly embrace all that I am. 

The comparison game simply put makes you feel like you are not enough (something I’ve Iived and shared about here).

But feeling like we don’t measure up and diving into thoughts of comparison is not going to allow us to live the life we were made for.

We need to remember we were all created to be different. We all have different skills; we all have different paths that shape us and make us the person we are. And because of this, we don’t need to compare ourselves.

Soak this truth in gorgeous– If you were meant to be living someone else’s life you would have been born as them. 

So what can you do about comparison?  

Here are my 5 Steps- How To Overcome Comparison

1- Embrace Your Identity– Let go of the idea that your life needs to look like someone else’s. Be proud of your heritage and where you come from. Let it shine through and set you apart because you are a unique individual.

2- Look To Impact People Instead Of Impress Them- Thinking about the needs of others means you will be looking outward more than inward. You will be looking at ways you can serve others, be there for them rather than the fact you “do not match up.”

3- Replace Thoughts Of Competition With Celebration – There is room for you and room for everyone to occupy space. Learning to celebrate who you are and who others are will cultivate contentment.

4- Believe There Is A Place For You- You matter and you are needed. You were made on purpose to do something only you can do your way. Even though there are others doing it, they are not you so don’t be afraid to do it your way.

5- Practice Gratitude- Embrace thinking about the things you are thankful for. 

Learning about gratitude has been a huge game changer in my life so I want to focus a little more on this topic for a moment.

The Oxford dictionary defines gratitude as ‘the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.’

Harvard Medical School wrote “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” You can read the article further here. 

Sounds pretty good doesn’t it. But how do you begin the process of gratitude?

How To Practice Gratitude:

1. Keep A Gratitude Journal- It could be one you write in or a digital journal you type into. 

2. Everyday Write Down 1 Thing You Are Grateful For- Go into detail. For example, I don’t just say I’m grateful for my health, I say, ‘I’m grateful I got to sit outside with the sun warming my body watching my children play and giggle. I loved inhaling the fresh air and just being alive with no pain in my body.’

3. Think About The Things You Are Grateful For- You’ve already written them down but dwelling on the things you are grateful for (or drawing on them when you feel a thought of comparison rising) allows you to continuously renew your mind with thoughts that are uplifting instead of thoughts that make you feel empty.

Friend what or who are you comparing yourself to? In this era of social media, it’s so easy to get caught up in what others have and what you don’t.  

Switch off and focus on all the blessings you have, like food to eat, fresh water running through your tap, clothes to wear, a roof over your head. 

There’s just so much to be grateful for and when you make gratitude your focus, happiness becomes your portion. 

On Uplifting Studios TV I bring you stories of people who have overcome, many of whom are migrants and have experienced times when comparison has tried to define them and confine them. 

Their stories are ones of refining and pushing through in order to live a life of purpose. I’d love for you to subscribe and watch their uplifting stories.

If you’ve wrestled with comparison and know it’s held you back, I offer a life coaching service that can help you with this. You may have spent a long time with a comparison mindset but together we will declare that as your past and not your future. 

In the words of Bob Goff, ‘We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose’. 

I have no doubt you can begin celebrating who you are whilst also celebrating others. Reach out to me anytime to begin the shift in your life.

With love,

Annie

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