“I’ve never seen so many Negros in one place.”
Those were the words an elderly white man uttered at an Easter church service I was attending with some friends. We were visiting this church and supporting some of my friends in the choir.
Having only been in Australia a few months I didn’t know what to say. None of my friends did. And neither did the other white people around him.
He was in absolute shock to see so many of “us” in all our Black glory. I think for him it must have been like a scene from a movie, only this time we were not enslaved. We were freely being and experiencing everything the church service had to offer.
I remember those words cutting through. It felt uncomfortable. I didn’t have any words to express how I felt at the time, but it felt like it was wrong for so many of us to be there. Like we had in some way unsettled the norm.
Those words stayed with me for years, unable to shake them out of my mind. Why didn’t he refer to us as Black or African? Why use such an offensive word?
Conversations about race are as uncomfortable as they come. It’s never a pleasant conversation for either party, especially where you might be trying to correct someone.
It will often end in defensiveness, anger, and – so often – words exchanged in the heat of the moment that leaves each other scarred.
Over 2 decades now looking on, I understand how silence is not always the best solution. Sometimes things are said that require us to speak up…even when we are afraid. Even when we don’t fully know how to express ourselves and the words coming through are filled with trembling.
But we can still have these difficult conversations with kindness and grace. We can, where possible, call people in and up to their highest self. Because when we choose to do so with love, we are allowing them to take accountability rather than become defensive.
I’ve always been drawn to this kind of learning and correction when guilt and shame are taken off the table and I’m held in my true humanity. And this is the very same lens with which I support online business owners who are committed to doing better and building inclusive businesses.
In my upcoming FREE 3-day Inclusive Language Intensive I’ll be sharing with you why language plays such an integral role in your business and the kind of clients you end up attracting and serving. I’ll be sharing the role of inclusive language and why it is a must do when it comes to building a sustainable business that will see you serve people from diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds.
If this is an area in your business you struggle with I’d love to support you to step into this work. Join us right here: https://www.upliftingstudios.com.au/inclusivelanguageintensive
With Love,
Annie
