As an online coach or business owner, the language you use can have a significant impact on how your message is received by your audience. Unfortunately, I’ve come across a number of coaches unintentionally using racially exclusionary language that can impact their clients and perpetuate harmful beliefs and stereotypes. In today’s newsletter, we’ll explore some examples of such language and why it’s important to avoid them, as well as offer alternatives that are more inclusive and empowering.
🙅🏾♀️ Be the hero and not the victim
This particular phrase is common in the online marketing space where the story brand narrative is taught to help business owners articulate how they can solve the problem their potential client has. I see the value in this teaching of being the guide and helping your client see themselves as the hero and not a victim. But what this doesn’t take into account are the systems of exclusion that exist for particular marginalised groups. Being a victim is not by choice. It’s part of a system of supremacy that views certain groups less than others. It’s not something that someone from a marginalised group can simply wish away.
I remember a mentor many years ago when I was still working in corporate and trying my hand at establishing a business and she simply couldn’t understand why I wasn’t putting myself out there “more”. When I shared how I felt held back because I was a Black migrant woman, she was confused. I remember trying so hard not to burst into tears because I thought something was wrong with me.
Many years later, I now understand the lens she was looking through. She was wondering why I was being the victim in my story instead of the hero. She had no clue or understanding about systems of exclusion and supremacy.
As you coach your clients, be mindful of how you perceive their struggles. Equip yourself to look through a trauma-informed as well as a racially inclusive lens. When you do that you are in a better position to guide them through their struggles and better understand the forces at play and how you might support them by referring them to an expert who can better hold space for them.
🙅🏾♀️ Money comes easily to me
This is an affirmation that can come from a place of privilege. I see and understand the value in trying to teach people to see money as easy to come by and acquire. But once again when you haven’t been held back by the colour of your skin in order to earn more, sell more, gain more credibility and trust, it’s easy to think that this affirmation is empowering.
When you have this same expectation for your clients or students advising them to affirm statements of this kind without understanding their lived experience and the fact that money doesn’t come easily to them, it can be triggering and harmful to them.
There are so many people of colour I know and whose stories resonate with one another when it comes to how hard they have to work in order to get a promotion, a pay rise or simply get recognition for the work they do in comparison to their white colleagues.
Money doesn’t always come easily for people of colour. In fact, working with women of colour coaches, there’s so much we work through when it comes to money mindset. This is because of our lived experiences and trying to adapt and train ourselves to think differently about how we’ve historically been taught to see ourselves as less than.
When you see a person of colour with a successful business in a predominantly white industry, know there’s so much they’ve had to endure…and NO…money didn’t come easily. They worked HARD for everything they have.
🙅🏾♀️ Chained to a 9 to 5 job
This type of language where one is trying to sell you the lifestyle of “freedom” and how they are no longer a “slave” to their corporate job is deeply harmful. Taking the comparison of being enslaved to working a corporate job is extreme and untrue. They do have the choice to resign. And whilst resigning might have a negative impact on their livelihood, they can exercise their right to leave because they are not being forced to work.
Seeing this kind of language being used when launching an offer and using it to sell the dream life is not one that is steeped in inclusion. It leaves a trail of destruction in its path suggesting that working a corporate job is not a good thing to have. That it’s restrictive. A lot of people make a living working a 9 to 5 job to provide for their families. You don’t have to put down something in order to advocate for another.
When I first arrived in Australia I worked as a cleaner. I wasn’t forced to do it. I did it by choice. I did it because I thought that’s where people who looked like me had to start in order to make it. I cleaned corporate offices and the idea of working in one of those cubicles was an absolute dream. Many years later, I eventually landed a corporate job and it helped me grow in my resilience, particularly when it came to climbing the corporate ladder. It wasn’t easy and I wasn’t chained to my job. I could leave if I chose to and I did leave for other opportunities that came my way. I was never a slave to my corporate job.
🙅🏾♀️ I’m not qualified to talk about race
While it’s important to acknowledge one’s own privilege and limitations in certain situations, this statement can also be a way to avoid engaging with issues of racial equity altogether. It may come across as dismissive making it difficult to address issues related to racial equity.
I interviewed someone once who was sharing their work as a coach and how important it was to divest from systems of exclusion and oppression such as racism. When I asked her to unpack a little bit more about that because I saw an opportunity for us to dive deeper into the topic, she responded she wasn’t qualified to talk about race as a white woman. I understood what she meant but it was a missed opportunity for her to share her perspectives, beliefs and affirm her support and her role as an ally in racial equity work.
I also get the fact that this work can get confusing. There are times when white people are required to be silent and not contribute to the conversation because they are not qualified to. Then there are the times they are told their silence is causing harm. It’s sometimes difficult to know when to speak and when to be silent.
In the context of what I’m sharing today, and for you as a coach and space-holder, if a question of this nature were to arise in your coaching container, the above response wouldn’t be a supportive response to your client/s whether or not there are people of colour in the group. It’s important that you share your views and be open about the fact that you are on a learning journey but these are your perspectives on issues to do with race. Even if you get it wrong, say the wrong thing or mess up, it’s important that you share your perspective, that’s how you begin to grow your racial stamina.
It’s important to remember that language can have a powerful impact on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us, so it’s crucial for coaches to be mindful of the language they use and how it may affect their clients.
Are there other exclusionary words or phrases that you’ve come across in the coaching space? Has this been eye-opening for you? I’d love to hear from you. Drop me a note in the comments.
Want to dive further into inclusive language? Download my free Inclusive Language Guide where I share the do’s and don’ts of inclusive language for your online coaching business.
With Love,
Annie
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